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I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships

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4.17  ·  Rating details ·  183 Ratings  ·  58 Reviews
The most *powerful* relationship skill you were never taught. From marriage to business to everyday life, this simple tweak makes all the difference.

In this 3-hour, conversational read, you’ll discover the whats, whys, and hows of one of the most valuable (yet surprisingly little-known) communication skills—validation.

Whether you’re looking to improve your relationship w
...more
Kindle Edition, 148 pages
Published June 10th 2017 by Autumn Creek Press
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Macayla Fryc
Despite the absolute fundamental application of this validation principle, I've never heard it spoken of in all my years of communication study. What a pity because incorporating validation will absolutely 110% improve relationships, which is a truly exciting thought. Who DOESN'T want to understand? Who DOESN'T want to be understood?
At it's essence, validation is offering the affirmation every human being unconsciously seeks. The only reason I could think of that it would be overlooked in liter
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Redcheeks64 ALFORD
Loved the book! It had me to reevaluate my relationships.This is a great self-help book!
Katy
Mar 18, 2018 marked it as to-read
I received my copy free through Goodreads Giveaways.
Narilka
Mar 15, 2018 rated it it was amazing
"Being listened to and heard is one of the greatest desires of the human heart" - Richard Carlson

Such a simple concept and yet it seems like the need frequently goes unmet. Have you ever had a conversation with someone who is obviously listening to the words you're saying but didn't seem to get what you meant? Or understood your point and were obviously disconnected from the emotion or weight of the situation? I Hear You by Michael S. Sorensen is all about the power of validation and how to use
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Caitlin
Jul 03, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I received a copy of this book through a goodreads giveaway.

I was actually surprised by this book. I expected to start reading and find if full of things I was already aware of, and offer tips that I was already using. While there was a lot I was already aware of it, Sorensen also offered up quite a bit of information and advice that I wasn't already aware of and that I have found to be useful. The book is easy to read and doesn't beat around the bush, making it a quick read as well.
Mike He
Jul 19, 2018 rated it it was amazing
If there is anything I've learned from I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships, that has to be the word "validation" and its true meaning in any relationships. Michael Sorensen knows what's driving a meaningful and healthy conversation, which makes this book worth reading again and again.
Micki
Mar 14, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Very helpful and honest.
Straight to the point without any fluff and filler, which I greatly appreciate.
The skill really is just that simple, but not every relationship is the same, and that is taken into account.
The next time someone asks for relationship/marriage advice I will recommend this book.
I was given a copy of this e book in exchange for an honest review.
Michael
May 02, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Good advice, succinct, practical, useful.
Tina Derby
May 20, 2018 rated it liked it
Good reminders

A good reminder of how validation can be an communication tool; professionally and personally. Good book if you are unfamiliar with how validation can be effective.
AnnARegina Enyedi
Mar 28, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Eye-opening! Validate, validate, validate feelings!
(Important ideas for me: ask permission to express your opinion or suggestion, + avoid the use of extreme words like "never" and "always")
Congrats and thank you, Michael Sorensen! :)
Team Golfwell
Dec 27, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I liked “I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships” and when I first began reading this book, I noticed there were already 31 reviews of this book on Amazon, and all of them were 5 stars? Very unusual, I thought, since there were zero 4 star or less reviews? WTF? Especially after 31 out of 31 people took time out to write 5-star reviews for this valuable and enlightening book.

The book reads like Dale Carnegie’s timeless, “How to Win Friends and Influence Peopl
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Cat C
Apr 26, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I received a copy of this book in a Goodreads giveaway and it has not affected my review.

This book was possibly the most important thing I never knew I needed. It's a short and simple but incredibly powerful book about a simple but incredibly powerful concept: validating someone and letting them know they have been heard. You've heard their concerns and understand them, or you hear their joy and you share in it.

As it goes through the concepts everything makes so much sense. For example, it talks
...more
Heather
Apr 16, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: first-read
***I won this book via the Goodreads Giveaway program. This has not influenced my review.***

I am really glad I read this book. It came at a good time for me. Over the years, I've had a lot of training on how to be a good listener: high school mentor program, college resident assistant, supervisor training, advocate training...the list goes on. This book takes all of that training and simplifies/hones in on a quick learnable process.

At first, I was skeptical. Mr. Sorensen kept referring to valid
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Kathy
Jan 24, 2018 rated it really liked it
I thought that this book might be another of those books where you restate what the other person said, or reflective response books, it was not, and I was surprised to find a lot of useful information in it. It seems that I am guilty of saying some invalidating things in an attempt to make people feel better, and I believe that I am not the only one. This is a book that I will keep on my shelf, as I am sure that I will be referring to it often. Everyone could certainly use this book, because it ...more
Rebecca Mitchell
Jun 29, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This book is clear, helpful, and well worth the read. Sorenson defines validation as “the act of recognizing and affirming the validity or worth of a person’s emotions.” Each chapter clarifies and aspect of what validation is and what it is not, provides realistic examples, and a chapter summary of key points. Since my daughter frequently tells me I don’t validate her emotions, I found this book very helpful to understand what that actually means and how that could improve our relationship. I un ...more
Becca
*I won this book for free in a Goodreads giveaway in exchange for an honest review.

As someone who is always looking to improve my communication skills, I was overjoyed to begin reading this book. I Hear You is filled with so much advice and it actually works! Every tip is meaningful and only makes communicating easier. I honestly wish I knew all of the tips sooner, as I know they would have helped out in so many instances. With the conversation examples to show you how to properly execute the s
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Sabiha
Feb 01, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: giveaways
Thank you to Michael Sorensen and Autumn Creek Press for giving me the chance to win this book through the Goodreads Giveaways. This novel was a quick and light read, without all the added fluff, which I truly appreciated. It focuses on the Four-Step Validation Method, which is 1) Listen empathetically 2) Validate the emotion 3) Offer advise or encouragement (if appropriate) 4) Validate emotion again. Each chapter focuses on a different step of this method, allowing readers to get the chance to ...more
Becky
Mar 09, 2018 rated it really liked it
I received this book through a Goodreads giveaway

This book is a concise review of essential listening skills. It does not, as many personal development books do, spend a lot of time explaining why you might want to read the book/acquire these skills (this always frustrates me. You've already got me as a reader. Let's get right to the substance). Short and sweet without claiming to reveal anything terribly new, this is the kind of book I appreciate to help me to review and recalibrate. Am I the k
...more
Pamela
May 27, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: give-aways-arc
Admittedly I don’t always listen well when others are looking for validation. I’m not sure I even realized the need for validation, but now I recall conversations where I was looking for validation and was left feeling worse off than before I began talking to someone regarding my own circumstances. I want to not only be a good listener to those who reach out to me, but I want to leave them feeling better off or at the very least no worse off following a conversation they’ve started with me. I th ...more
Joni Haynes
Mar 06, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
As promised, this book that I won from Goodreads was short and to the point...a quick read. The main point of this self help book is "validation". The author reminds us that in conversations, our responses should be validation of the other person's expressions, rather than giving advice, or trying to negate their feelings by saying things like, "it'll be okay"...or, "that's not true...you did a beautiful job." None of this is anything we all haven't learned before, but it's a great reminder, bec ...more
Jingbo Wang
Dec 31, 2017 rated it it was amazing
The author has a very interesting theory on validation. I can relate to several personal experiences. I had tried validation with my friends (without knowing I was validating) and it worked well. Some of my friends also made me feel so much better by validating me. It's interesting to know we can also self-validating. I like the way how the author summarizes experiences and offers a 4-step validation plan to take action. Validation is a simple yet useful skill to have for people you really care ...more
Maura
Feb 25, 2018 rated it really liked it
Very insightful

This book was an impulse read I found browsing the Kindle store, but I'm glad I gave it a shot! A lot of what's inside seems like common sense, but it's interesting to realize how uncommonly we follow the ideas presented. I think it will make a lot of difference in interacting with coworkers, friends, and family, and will be especially helpful in discussing reports with callers I have to speak with at work, where people ARE always looking for advice yet strangely not often ready t
...more
Jane
Nov 15, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is a great little book about a simple, but effective communication skill which helps improve relationships. In a word, validation. Many people, after listening to someone speak about something, will jump in with opinions and advice, when only empathy and validation are needed. Often this leads to discord and a negative impact on the relationship. I certainly will be using the principles that I have learnt in this book in my relationships. I won a copy of this book from the author as part of ...more
Corinna Adams
May 06, 2018 rated it really liked it
Loved this book!

The steps outlined in this book are laid out in an easy to digest manner and the author does a wonderful job showing practical applications. I especially loved the reminder to treat yourself well and validate yourself. Looking forward to using this approach in future conversations, have already success in one interaction. Thank you, Michael, for this lovely book.
Jenn
Jan 24, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: books-won
I won a copy of this book.

I've decided to give this a go. It's a 4-step system to helping someone validate others' feelings- not agreeing or disagreeing with them - just letting them know that you hear how they're feeling. Most people just want to be heard anyway and it will definitely help with making connections with everyone around you.
Jen
May 04, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: giveaway-win
I thoroughly enjoyed this short, detailed, example filled book on how to improve your communication with others through listening, validating and other steps. It will take some time to change bad habits and implement what I have learned, but with practice I have know doubt the techniques in this book, if applied correctly, will improve my listening skills and overall conversation with friends and family, co-workers, clients and acquaintances. I don’t know of many people who wouldn’t benefit from ...more
Sara Smith
May 10, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I received a free copy of this book from the author through Goodreads Giveaway.

The concept of this seems super easy at the start. I thought, why don't we do this? It will take a bit of practice to break the bad listening habits and try this way, but I definitely am going to try. The author sucked me into the book by starting with John Gottman who is one of my favorite researchers.
Alice
May 19, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: reference
I received this as an ebook free through Goodreads.
Absolutely love this book. I believe everyone should own a copy of this book.
I learned a lot and will most likely keep this book for the rest of my years.
May have to purchase a printed copy of this in the future.
Amber Johnson
Mar 26, 2018 rated it liked it
Shelves: giveaways
I won this book through a Goodreads Giveaway. I love the fact that it was simple and to the point without a bunch of filler. It was basic, everyday advice that everyone can use. I definitely got some ideas on how to better validate others.
Christine Knight
Nov 14, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Simple Strategies to Improve Relationships

Beautifully simple recommendations. I look forward to mastering these techniques in the workplace and in treasured personal relationships. Thank you for writing this book!
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“One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.” –Bryant H. McGill” 2 likes
“how are you feeling right now? If you’re like most people, you’ll probably say, “fine.” But “fine” isn’t an emotion. It’s how you’re categorizing your current emotion. “Okay,” you say, “I’m feeling good.” Nope. Still not an emotion. “Right. I’m feeling happy.” There we go. Happy is an emotion, and something others can relate to.” 1 likes
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